Fluid series
by JAlva
Summary: Wash is a lonely soul, watching as the people on Serenity come and go and never stay for him. Until he does something stupid to impress Jayne, then things change. Series. Thar be slashy content, but nothing overtly sexy. Slightly AU. Wash/Jayne, Mal/Zoë
1. When It Rains, It Pours

**When It Rains, It Pours**

By J. Alva

Pairings: Wash/Jayne, Mal/Zoë

Rating: PG-13 at best

Summary: Wash is having a hell of a night, and even more confusing morning after. Warning: Thar be slashy content, but nothing sexy. Slightly AU.

Words: 4275

_A/N: This is my first Firefly fic, and honestly my first fanfic in yeeeeears. I needed an exercise to get my mind muscles working again so I could get back into write et al, and this was the muse I was given. It's the first chapter of a long fic._

………..

Rain falling over Serenity was not a common occurrence, considering the large expanses of time she generally avoided atmosphere and everything it entailed. But during those rare occurrences when they had to stay on a wet rock a little longer than expected, and when the ship was quiet and still— a rare thing in itself— Wash would make his way to the bridge, get cozy in his chair and watch the water sheet down the glass face of Serenity. The pattering of raindrops on the hull was always nearly enough to make him fall straight to sleep.

Not this rainy night, though. Nope. Tonight Wash had the not-so-rare fortune of having a gun pointed at him by a man seeking to do him some bodily harm if he did not fully cooperate.

"Where's he at?" The man snarled from behind him, the guns barrel oh so firmly planted at the base of Wash's neck.

His calm now officially broke he slowly raised his arms in defense. "There's a lot of 'he's' on--"

Wash felt his head snap back, stubby fingers entangled in his short hair. "The Captain, nǐ báichī fēi sè wàitào."

Wash finally got his first look at the pudgy bull-faced thug, albeit upside down. He scowled, biting back the urge to tell this man-bovine hybrid that he in fact did not fight in the war; brown-coat or otherwise. Instead he opted for the truth.

"I have no idea." He really didn't. Both Mal and Zoë decided it was a good night to go gallivanting around town trying to scour for any jobs they could. It was tradition.

The other man lowered his face over Wash's, giving him a good look at the filth and grime coating the boarder-dweller. Not to mention his overpowering breathe; which smelt like stale tobacco mixed with sour milk.

"Well," the creep growled, a wicked smile carving through his face. "You'd better get an idea soon."

"I've got an idea." A thunk, and the suddenly Wash became very acquainted with the other mans face. And pain. Was it just him, or did the world taste a bit like blood all of a sudden?

The thug slinked to the ground, unconscious, Mal stood over him poised with a metal pipe. "You okay there, Wash?" He asked as he nudged the cow-man onto his back with his toe.

Wash took this opportunity to finally jump to his feet, hand to face to stem the flow of blood from his nose. "Shì shénme zài dìyù, Mal?"

"What?" The man was truly dumbfounded, defensive even.

"You hit him! Into my face!" His voice pathetically nasally.

"Well I'm terribly sorry about your pretty little face there, but the man did kind of have a gun in your back."

Wash hazarded a look in a mirror to inspect the damage and whimpered. "My nose…" He went to his console and searched for a handkerchief or something to sop the blood off his face. "You might have thought to wait until he jumped up in surprise from your intrusion before hitting him. Or, I don't know, hit him from the side. Or—I hope that pipe isn't important."

Mal quickly concealed the long bronze pipe behind his back. "I'll put it back."

Wash sighed and, giving up his search for the elusive hanky, opting instead to use the bottom of his already blood spattered yellow undershirt. His button up tropical sunset shirt, fortunately, was spared the brutality and was laid across the arm of the pilot's chair.

And thus was the scene Zoë decided to walk in on. A rotund man with a gun laying unconscious on the floor, Mal standing with a pipe behind his back, and Wash with his bloody shirt pulled up showing off his chest and covering his face. Just how Wash wanted her to see him.

"Quite the party."

She walked in and stood next to her husband, assessing the scene. "What'd I miss?"

"Still not quite sure yet," Mal replied as he wrapped an arm around his wife's hip, giving a little squeeze. He turned his eyes on Wash. "Mind filing us in?" His tone was almost accusing.

Wash sighed. This was not the thing he wanted tonight. Relaxation was on his agenda, not intrigue and… whatever else this was. "He asked for you."

Mal smiled. "Well, I sure haven't been the ire of anyone's attention for a while now." His excitement

"Been about a week, hasn't it?" Zoë chimed in, an almost-smirk on her face as she met eyes with her man.

Mal smiled back. "Seems like forever." He looked back at Wash, borderline-giddy grin still on his lips. "Well, considering the rock we've landed on I think I have an idea on just who sent this rat after me. I'll head down an' round up the big guy, you go get your nose--" He paused and made an open palm circular motion over his face. "--checked out by the doc. Zoë, go and fetch the doc, let him know he's got a patient, then meet me by the hog. We've got a man to see about some cows."

With that Mal and Zoë turned and walked out of the bridge, leaving a confused and kind of woozy Wash standing over the greasy unconscious man.

Hurried footsteps came back toward the room, Mal emerging through the threshold. "Oh, do me a favor and watch him while I grab Jayne before heading to the infirmary. Just make sure he doesn't do… stuff." With a wave and a nod he was back down the hall. Wash sank into the chair, defeated.

Then kicked the guy, for retribution's sake.

………..

"So," started the bleary eyed Simon. "What happened?"

Wash squinted when the good doctor brought a magnifying glass-burning light hybrid thing a little too close to his eyes, which in turn began to water. "You want the long or the short story?" Simon didn't answer, what with being busy looking at his nose and all. And since talking kind of hurt too much right now, "Short story then. Let's just say never get too intimate with a strange mans face."

That elicited a reaction from Simon. "I'm sorry?" He pulled the bright light away from Wash's face and turned to get a doo-dad off his tray.

"Well, I mean AUGH-" Simon shoved the business end of his tool into either nostril and just like that his nose was realigned again.

"Sorry." He went back to his tray and picked up another potential death trinket. Wash eyed it cautiously, this time keeping his trap shut. It was smaller, thinner, and coming toward his face. Simon gingerly laid it across the bridge of his nose, than slightly less sudden than it's intrusion pulled the clamp thing from his nostrils.

Wash fought the urge to feel around his face when Simon turned his back. It felt all right though, less sideways at least from what he could tell.

"I don't have the best pain killers at the moment, so take these pills three times a day after eating for the rest of the week, or if it hurts immensely. After that," He turned back toward Wash and placed the small bag filled with little white pills in his hand. "I've heard tale that whiskey can take the pain away."

………..

The girls were all still asleep, and Simon soon followed after giving Wash a clean bill of health aside from the broken nose. That left the pilot all by his lonesome down in the ships kitchen. He decided to forego his doctors prescription and instead opted for a good old fashioned 'let's get all kinds of sloppy drunk while everyone else has fun adventuring or sleeping' night cap. That was the funny thing about alcohol and scavenging. On almost every ship the Captain ever led a mission on they would come back with armfuls of alcohol. Good stuff, too. It was the damnedest thing.

In a way it made sense to Wash, why there was always so much of the stuff left on the ships. When you're faced with your impending doom and in dire need of escape, the last thing on your mind is to grab something that'll fog up your mind and potentially run you afoul of the whole surviving thing you're so intent on.

But that was the funny thing, because why was there so much alcohol on the ship in the first place? Well, that was a simple answer really. It was there for the long journeys through black nothingness. You might be there with everyone you cared about and had nothing but loves loving loviness around you at all times; but in the end you needed an escape. Because no matter how many people you know around you, in the vast emptiness of the universe… you always felt alone.

Wash raised his cup over his head, saluting to no one in particular. "Here's to loneliness and head injuries." He tossed the last gulp back and let the burn slide down his throat as he listened to the rainfall over Serenity.

It was a new life he was looking for when he took the job piloting this boat. He'd worked with countless crew on dozens of ships, but all of the people he met were all so… distant. Every ship was either in spotless condition or in perfect disrepair in all the same ways, each seeming to be replicas of each other. Every person on board filling their role, both as a job and as a lifestyle. It was bizarre, like boys playing soldier.

And yet it was the soldiers that set themselves apart. He couldn't explain why, but right from the very beginning he felt like these people were different. This ship was going to be different- because honestly, Firefly class isn't something people go out of their way for unless they've tuned into that something… that something in the air when you're in her.

Didn't hurt that the soldiers were two of the shiniest looking folk he ever did come across, both in attitude and pure aesthetic. It was pretty apparent from the get-go that they were a pair but that never did stop Wash from fantasizing that one day the Captain would be gone and his delicious first mate would go crazy with worry, needing Wash to console her. Or the Captain is having a particularly rough day and he just needs a little… relaxation. Or they both need some relaxation. At the same time. Oh man, the stories he came up with in his head while he sat in that chair alone all that time.

In fact, Serenity has had a whole run of beautiful folk pass through her. Sadly, he never did get to see any action with any of them. It was a sad affair, but most times the person was already interested in someone else, crazy, or just otherwise not interested in him.

The Captain had his first mate and wife, Kaylee and Simon did that whole dancing around thing they did, Inara was otherwise… unavailable, River was insane, and Jayne…

Jayne was something else. He'd considered Jayne many a'times, but that man was a walking enigma. Either he terrified you or confused you with his ambiguity, which was equally terrifying.

Even if given the chance, Wash wasn't sure about Jayne—

"Wash!" He felt a nudge, and a throb in his head. "Wash, wake up." The frantic raspy voice urged him.

He opened his eyes, unsure of when he passed out. He glanced around the darkened kitchen, his whole body aching almost as much as his head. That didn't stop the possessor of the offending voice to pull him to his feet and sending a wave of shock through his numb system.

Wash looked at the hand holding him, and followed the trail of his arm up to his face. "Jayne?"

"Wash, man, something bad went down." It was still too dark and Wash was still too drunk to quite understand what was going on. But the larger man was scared, and soaked with rain. If his head were clearer he'd take time to try and figure out which of the two was causing the man to shiver so violently.

"What's going on?" He felt himself turned around and shoved toward the steps. "What the hell is going on, Jayne?"

"Gorram people double crossed us something good. I need you to do some piloting so I can do some heroing, liǎojiě?"

Wash was now verging on panic and sobriety. "What happened?"

"Just get behind the gorram wheel and steer this thing back toward the town. I'll tell you where to go from there, and—are you drunk?" His nose was crinkled up as he finally caught a wiff of the smell emanating off of the pilot.

"Only a little."

"Dí suǒyǒu shídài, Wash!" Jayne shoved the smaller man into the cockpit. "Fly." Without hesitation Wash did as he was told. Fear had sobered him up pretty good, but he still had a hard time seeing clearly in all the rain and with his left eye slightly swollen from his recent close encounter. But with directions from Jayne they managed to get close enough for their rescue without getting too close for detection.

Wash followed Jayne to his bunk after settling the ship down. He stood at the top of the ladder and started asking questions anew. "What. Happened?"

There was a pause as Jayne busied himself with making clicking noises and scraped metal together just out of view down in his bunk. "The head honcho, I forget his name, he weren't none too pleased with his losing money over cows that got taken away from him and his town by the Alliance." He dropped something and it rolled toward the ladder, a half dressed Jayne clambered over to retrieve it, affording Wash a quick glance at bare skin. A glance he appreciated, but didn't have time for that kind of ogling right at the moment. "We went in, mostly unarmed, and the man goes and tells his brutes to grab us. Separate us."

There's a pause. Total silence.

"I heard shouting from another room. I couldn't even tell if it were Zoë or Mal. I finally managed to untie myself, kick some people in the head and shoot others while I tried to find the others. When I couldn't find 'em I came back to the ship."

"You ran away?" There was slightly more anger and shock in his voice than even Wash was ready for. There was another pause from down below before Jayne stepped to the bottom the ladder, his shirt still off.

"I came back to arm up." Jayne had plenty of venom himself. "Look here, pilot. I did what I could for those two idiots, but I weren't about to get myself killed right then because I wasn't allowed to bring enough weapons with me. Now, I'm going to try and make good on my part. I suggest you just stay sober and get ready to fly us out the moment we're back on this boat." And with that, he stomped out of view and continued to get ready.

Wash squatted over the entryway, silent and somber. Without a word he stood up and turned away.

"This will end well for him." Wash yelped and jumped back, nearly falling into Jayne's bunk. River stood in the middle of the hall staring at him with those big Doe like eyes. "It's okay, everything is going to be okay. I promise. No more empty space."

"That's…" Wash stammered as he eased himself around River, doing his best to blend into the wall. He still wasn't totally used to this girl. He watched her as he made his way back toward the bridge. "That's good to know." She smiled at him then looked sad.

"Mind the gap."

………..

It was times like these that brought something out of the folk on the S.S. Serenity. When times were tough and people were in danger; everyone got pumped. It didn't seem to matter if you were the gung ho mercenary-for-hire stuffed to the gills with guns, or the even-tempered Shepard. Once they found out their friends were in need of help, they went and helped them: even if it wasn't the smart thing to do.

Which would explain why Wash was now eating mud, completely drenched and freezing cold. He should have done just as Jayne had told him and stayed back, ready to do the piloting thing when Jayne returned with the Captain and Zoë. But, no, that was the smart thing now wasn't it? Why would he go and do that.

So instead, he's being pulled up out of the mud by the same big man who threw him into it. "Who are you?" He bellowed, his eyes furrowed in anger. The other two men trained their guns on Wash, rain dripping over the end of the barrels.

Wash stammered. "I- I'm just looking for people. Wouldn't happen to have seen them, have you? Two guys, and a lady? Well she's not so much a lady as an ass-kicking machine. And not so much two guys as--"

"Are you drunk?"

"A little." It took a bit of liquid courage for him to finally step foot off the boat. He didn't like the idea of Jayne going at it alone. Didn't seem right.

Of course now Wash had wished he'd told someone what he was planning on doing before he went ahead and did it.

The bigger man with his hand wrenched in Wash's jacket grunted and began to drag him down the muddy path toward the house. It was smaller than Wash had imagined it would be, and it looked like the men dragging him along were the only security outside. Definitely not the castle with sentries Wash had envisioned, not that anyone gave him that idea in the first place. Imagination is a tricky thing like that.

They reached the door and one of the other men pushed it open, a flood of light pouring out onto the wet porch and… laughter?

"Wǒ bú xiāngxìn!" Mal's voice, full of humor, bellowed from within.

"No, it's true though!" Another man laughed. As Wash was led into the room the laughter ebbed a bit, all eyes turning on him. He stood there; soaked, muddy, a broken nose and a bruised ego. By the scene in front of him it was pretty clear things were in control.

Mal sat across a table from another man, most likely the head honcho Jayne had talked about, with a big albeit confused grin on his face and a cup in his hand. Zoë was next to him with a smirk on her face, looking Wash up or down. That woman never did seem to like him much, and this evening sure wasn't helping his image. Jayne on the other hand looked utterly let down as he sat against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Truth to tell he looked almost shocked to see Wash there.

"And what have we here?" Asked the head honcho. Wash really hoped he'd learn the mans name soon, 'cause that just seemed a bit… strange to keep referring to him as. The man stood and walked across the room in a few quick gates. Mal was up right after him and made his way by Wash's side quickly.

"He's one of mine." He said, a convincingly proud smile on his face and a pat on his shoulder. "The pilot I was telling you about earlier."

The other man's face lit up. "Ah, I've heard many good things about you! Come, sit and have a drink with us. You look cold."

Wash went to take a step forward but Mal's hand kept him firmly planted where he was. "I'm mighty sorry, Sonny, but we really ought to be on our way. If you want us to pick up that cargo for you we have to make sure our ship is in order."

The other man, Sonny's face fell. But he perked up real quick, which seemed to be in his nature. "Well, if you must you must." At that Zoë and Jayne stood and made their way toward the door.

As Jayne passed Sonny he turned toward him and muttered, "Sorry about shooting your son and all."

"It's just a flesh wound," he laughed. "He'll live."

And then they were out the door, walking through the rain in silence. Wash could feel a strong talking to coming at him though, so the silence was a welcome break.

………..

And a talking to he had. It was surprisingly less painful he imagined it would be, but he imagined it was mostly because Mal did kind of feel bad about breaking his nose and all. But being drunk while a mission was going on, and leaving the ship in the hands of the sleeping crew—who all were none too happy to find out about that when they woke up—was not something to let go lightly. But seeing as how nobody was harmed and quite frankly they got a job out of the whole thing, the talking to stayed at just that; a verbal warning.

So there he sat, alone in his pilot's chair again. While the rest of Serenity got ready for their days or went to take a nap, Wash just sat there and avoided doing or touching anything he didn't already know.

Today he was bent on not screwing things up like he did last night. Though that face thing, totally not his fault.

"What happened to your face?" Wash turned and looked at Jayne who was leaning against the doorframe in his clothes from the night before. He took another bite from his protein bar and continued looking at the pilot.

Wash shrugged. "Guy came in and tried to shoot me, so Mal had me headbutt him."

Jayne stepped closer and shook his head. "No, I mean the mud." Wash lifted his hand up and felt his cheek, forgetting that the rain hadn't washed all of the mud away. Changing his clothes didn't mean he was cleaned up.

"Oh." He paused. "Well, I… thought you were in trouble."

"So you tried to rescue me." More a statement than a question. He sat in the co-pilots chair and leaned in toward Wash, chewing the last bit of his bar.

"I- I guess." Wash stammered. "I was worried."

"Were you drunk?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"To be fair," Jayne smirked. "I've asked you twice."

Wash sighed and let his head fall back. This was a bad day. He almost never has bad days, considering the line of work he's in now. Boring days, yes. Occasionally exciting days, definitely. But… This was one for the record books.

"Hey." Wash looked back at Jayne, whose face had softened some. It made the man look less terrifying. "You didn't screw up." And that was as best a compliment Wash had ever hoped to get from him. Something in side of him burned.

"Thanks."

"Seriously, though. Drunk or not, what you did wasn't the smartest thing. But…" He paused and looked away, trying to think of the words. "I… appreciate it."

The two of them looked at each other for a long moment, neither one saying a word. It was an interesting silence, Wash thought. Full of something he couldn't put his finger on.

And then he laughed.

Jayne furrowed his brow. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Wash stifled his sudden laughter as best he could. "Sorry, I'm just not used to you acting like this."

Jayne began to stand. "If you don't--"

"No! It's not--"

"Was just trying to be civil--"

"I like it." Wash blurt out. Jayne paused, not looking at the pilot. Obviously this was out of the man's comfort zone and Wash felt that hot thing inside of him twist. "It suits you." He stood and smiled. "I'm not saying you ought to get a suit and tie or anything, but civility works for you."

Jayne turned and met the other mans gaze, a worried look in his eye.

Wash went on. "Look, I was worried is all. Everybody had disappeared and I didn't like the idea of you going out alone. Sure I was drunk, but--"

And suddenly Wash found himself very acquainted with Jayne's mouth. At first he was a little confused, but that was quickly washed away by the heat surrounding his lips. He let himself be taken.

Jayne's hands held the sides of Wash's face as he furiously pressed their lips together. Not too hard, and but none to gentle. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing neither of them expected to happen, and yet… It felt good.

Wash went to put his hand on Jayne's hip, to pull him in closer, but Jayne flinched. He suddenly released Wash's mouth from his and took a step back. He stared at the shorter man, confusion and fear playing across his face. His lips still glistening from their kiss.

Without a word the merc turned heel and stormed out the door, leaving Wash in a state of foggy confusion. He stared at the threshold for a few moments before realizing exactly what just happened. He tried to think of something to say, but the only thing that came out of his lips was a weak "Thank you?"

Life was about to get much more confusing. As they say, when it rains it pours.


	2. Fire Water

**Fire Water**

By Jeremy

Pairings: Wash/Jayne, Mal/Zoë

Rating: R territory

Summary: Wash and Jayne get stuck together during a mission, and things get a little confusing.

Warning: Thar be slashy content, mild sexy but nothing serious..

Words: 5336

They just wouldn't let it go. Two weeks had gone by and they had already moved onto the next job, but their jabs persisted. Not even angry jabs anymore, just the 'hey let's mess with Wash' kind.

"Hey, Wash." Mal smirked as he pushed a cup toward the man after he'd sat at the table to eat supper with the crew. "I know it ain't moonshine, but I hope it'll be okay." Everyone— at least those who enjoyed laughing —stifled their chuckles.

Wash sighed and rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. "Very funny--"

"Now don't be mean, Captain. Wash has much more sophisticated tastes than moonshine. " Kaylee smiled. "Hey, Inara? Think he can have one of your perfumes with dinner?" Another round of half-hidden snickers. Wash gave a lop-sided smile and glanced around the table, taking it in stride.

"Alright, you guys--"

"Yes," said River, laughing extra hard. "Next time you shouldn't drink so much alcohol and make a fool of yourself." River laughed at her joke, ignoring the fact that everyone else had grown just a bit awkwardly silent. Wash had wished this were the first time she had used that joke with the same results; or anywhere in the single digits, really.

He glanced around, waiting for anymore ribbing. "We done now? Everyone get their yaya's out for the night?" No response. "Good, 'cause I for one am hungry." He rubbed his hands together in a rather dramatic fashion and turned his gaze down to his plate. More stifled laughter.

On his plate was a big heaping helping of mud. Someone had actually gone to great lengths to find mud thousands of miles in space, put it on a plate, and served it to Wash as a dinner-time joke. "Okay, that's clever." He admitted. Everyone— even those not usually apt to laughter— broke out into guffaws again.

Kaylee stood up and replaced the mud-pie with a real plate of food. "I'm sorry, Wash. It was just too good to pass up." She couldn't stop laughing.

"My only question is who managed to get the mud all the way out here?" Fortunately Wash was up for good well thought out pranks, and this one deserved some respect.

"We have our ways," Mal said as he shoveled a pile of food into his mouth, still smirking.

"Well bravo to you guys. Now, can we finally end this horrendous streak of picking on me?" Wash tried his best not to smile while he said that.

"Sure thing, Rummy." Mal saluted.

"Whatever you say, Alchy." Kaylee chimed.

"Just stay out of my perfumes." Inara said quietly with a smile, trying to stay refined as she took a bite of food.

Wash just glared at them, before succumbing to his desire for food.

Funny thing about that night two weeks ago was the fact that Wash was, for all intents and purposes, usually a dry fellow. He enjoyed his liquor, and that was a fact. But primarily for the lack of quantities he usually opted to remain the sober driver. And yet there he went, drank like a tǔdì fǎn suǒ sailor. It was a fluke, and one he'd have to earn his way out of.

Then there was the thing with Jayne. That had to be a fluke too, seeing as how the very next day the man didn't seem to treat him any different than before. Truth was, Wash didn't so much as get any sort of vibes off the guy that anything had happened at all. Up until a few days ago he had begun to think he had dreamt the whole thing with the other man, which considering his wild imagination and the insane events of the night as a whole, wouldn't terribly surprise him.

That was until Jayne started playing the eyes game. They'd wind up passing each other in the hall, or eating supper, and Wash would glance up to see Jayne looking at him from the corners of his eyes. But the moment the man realized he was caught they would dart away again. But soon enough they'd sneak their way back to the corners. Sometimes they'd go back and forth like that for a few minutes before one of them would excuse themselves. Usually Jayne.

And speaking of…

Wash caught himself looking up at the bigger man sitting directly across the table from him, chewing like a cow. Just as he glanced up, so did Jayne. It was an interesting reversal of rolls, Wash thought to himself as he was usually the one to catch Jayne. And in those situations Jayne would be the first to look away. But Wash wasn't Jayne, and in being Wash he was going to try things differently. He didn't look away.

Power shift. Oh yeah, he could feel it.

Jayne narrowed his eyes. "What're you looking at?" he asked, spittle coming out of his mouth a bit along with a good portion of the food he had yet to swallow. He took a big swig off his water.

Wash blinked. Oh god, that wasn't what he expected. "Sorry," he felt himself go wide-eyed. "Was just staring off into space." He smiled. What was he expecting, anyway?

"Plenty of space outside. Sure you see it every day, being a space pilot and all." Surprisingly, Jayne was keeping eye contact. Keeping his cool. He picked up his knife and, after a half-second delay— just enough to scare Wash— cut into a piece of re-hydrated-dehydrated meat.

Wash faltered on his words, not sure how else to respond. He glanced around the table, looking for some backup on this one. Nobody met his gaze. Kaylee, though, was having quite a chuckle-fest.

Feeling cornered, he looked back at Jayne who was still burning a hole into him. He let out an anxious laugh and shrugged his shoulders dramatically before lowering his head over his plate, avoiding any further eye contact. Jayne just grunted and went back to his own food, the rest of the dinner going by relatively silent.

……….

"This place smells," Jayne whined, crinkling his face to try and block out the scent wafting through the open hatch. Bright light was bouncing off the water not too far away, a boat ferrying its way straight toward them.

Mal strode past him with a pat on the shoulder, a gesture Jayne visibly looked unhappy with. "Oh, it's not so bad. You'll get used to it."

"It smells," He repeated himself, as if the message weren't clear the first time. Zoë bumped into him as she passed by, on purpose it would seem.

Mal glanced over his shoulder, razors in his eyes. "Don't upset our hosts, Jayne. Else you might wind up here longer than you were anticipating."

"Welcome to New Melbourne!" Called an older woman, arms open in welcoming as she made her way up the ramp, her big rubber boots clomping as she went. "I assume you're Mal?"

"Yes, Ma'am. And you'd be Anne, I presume." He smiled and offered her a hand. She eyes his hand for a moment before stepping past him to envelop him in a hug instead, the motherly nature of the woman emanating off her like rays off a star.

She released him and clasped her hands on his shoulders, a big smile on her face. "Got my cargo?"

Mal nodded his head. "Sure do. Do you have my money?" Always business.

Anne smiled graciously, her yellowed teeth showing. She looked over her shoulder to the one rather large man she brought with her and nodded. The man pulled a sack off the side of his belt and tossed it to her. She turned her gaze back on Mal and smiled. "This right here is half. Now, I hope you remember the part of the deal where—"

"—we help you transport it across the water for the rest of the pay." Mal finished for her. Zoë shifted her weight, looking none too pleased with that part of the deal.

Anne ignored her. "Yes'sir. Now, I'd have asked you to park your ship nearer where we're headed, but seeing as how what you've got and I'm taking isn't exactly on the level, I didn't want to risk getting anybody in trouble. Now, weren't that nice of me?" She smiled again and ribbed Mal.

He stood there, stoic but with an obligatory smirk crawling across his face. No reason to sour the deal by this point. "Very. Now, I can't help but notice you've only got the one fellow and the one boat. This cargo," he looked over his shoulder to the two large crates. "I don't imagine it'd take less than two trips. How far are we going?"

"Oh, you're not going anywhere." She smiled and thumbed over her shoulder. "And neither is he. See, you're to stay here with what crew I don't borrow to help me carry these things and he's to watch you, make sure you don't high tail it out of here before I come back for the rest."

Mal looked out over the water, no sign of land in sight. This didn't sound too pleasing. "Don't recall two trips being a part of the plan."

"Oh, it won't take too long so long as you're an honest man."

"And you?"

"Well, I'm an honest woman as far as you're concerned." She smiled again. Woman did love to smile.

Mal mulled this over in his mind a bit before coming to a conclusion. "Sounds good enough to me. These two will help you across," He said, motioning to Zoë and Jayne.

Her eyes looked over the two and shook her head. "He can, but she can't." Zoë squared her jaw, looking insulted. "Oh, it's nothing personal, missy. Just that I don't trust the lady folk. You look like you can handle a gun, but can't lift a box." She smiled again, feeling pleased with the way she smoothed that one out. Her eyes returned to Mal. "Got any other strapping young lads back there you can borrow out?"

……….

Wash crinkled his nose as the boat slowly motored across the choppy ocean. "Zhègè dìfāng dì qìwèi…" he mumbled.

"That's what I said," Jayne agreed.

Another small wave pushed the boat back, spilling water onto their laps and feet. Wash was sure that by the time they got back from this whole adventure he'd have to throw out his shoes and probably burn his outfit.

"So," Anne called over the sound of the motor. "This your boys' first time on New Melbourne?"

Jayne pretended not to hear and continued glaring out at the water. Wash though was unfortunate to have caught her eye. "Yeah!" He called back. "At least for me. Not often I come 'round to this part of the 'verse."

She nodded, "Well unless you've got the money or you need it bad, ocean planets don't get many people just stopping by. Holidays or hard work, that's what people are looking for here."

"Why would people come here for vacation?" Jayne mumbled, just audible enough over the motor for Wash to hear.

Wash yelped as another wave crashed over them, hitting him square in the back and flooding into his pants. Anne laughed.

"You'll get used to it, boy!"

"That's what they told me about this place." Jayne mumbled again, still just barely audible for Wash.

"So, you two got lady-friends?" Wash went wide-eyed; was she hitting on them? Was she… oh god, they were pretty far out into the water now. She could do anything so long as she had a gun. He shuddered at the thought.

"I--"

"He's sly," Jayne bellowed, cutting him off. Wash looked at him, wide-eyed. Jayne just smirked, eyes narrow as he looked back at him.

"I'm--"

"It's okay!" Anne called back, a big toothy smile on her face. "I'm not one to judge." Jayne chuckled and looked back out over the sea. "Just glad you two found each other in this big wide 'verse!"

This time Jayne went wide-eyed for a spell, then glared at Anne before turning back to the sea, mumbling something under his breath. Wash snickered and turned back to Anne.

"We're not together."

She mouthed a big 'Oh!' and smiled knowingly. Wash shook his head, but couldn't help but smile back.

……….

Things never go right. "What do you mean the law is there?" Anne stormed around the cabin of the big ship, frantic as she squawked into the radio.

"It's just local." Came the static'y voice on the other end of the radio. "Talking about illegal docking in a non-docking zone, or something."

Jayne stood in the doorway, arms crossed and looking none too pleased. Wash stood behind him, peeking around to try and understand what was going on.

"Well, how long is it going to take them?"

There was a pause on the other end. "They took the captain in for questioning. I'm here with the rest of the crew, told the law I was a passenger."

Anne slumped into a chair, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "They didn't recognize you, did they boy?"

"No, ma."

"Good." She sighed and took a deep breath before looking up at the men in her doorway. "Sorry boys, but it looks like you'll be here until things clear up."

Jayne shifted his weight, blocking Wash's view again. "Well, how long you suppose that'll take?"

She shrugged. "Knowing the locals, probably until tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?" the two men cried in unison.

Anne raised her hands in defense. "The way they have things set up, doesn't matter how serious the offense is. It's a first come, first serve kind of thing. And considering all the party boats 'round these parts there's a lot of offenses being committed."

Wash sighed and sunk back against the wall. Jayne clenched and unclenched his fists. "Look lady, we just want to get this job done, get paid, and get gone. So why don't we jump on that boat of yours, and--"

"We can't."

Jayne gawked at her.

"I'm not exactly on their respectable citizens list," She explained. "Why else would I need an under the table transport like y'all to bring me things like clothes, toiletries, and replacement parts for my ship?"

Wash furrowed his eyebrows. "That's what was in those crates? Toilet paper and screws?" This annoyed him, hell even angered him some.

"You'll never realize how important those things are until you can't just walk into your local surplus and buy them." She sighed and leaned forward, a cool smile on her face again. "Tell you what; You guys go get changed into whatever dry clothes I have hanging around my boys room, and I'll cook us some dinner."

"Look lady--" Jayne started, taking half a step forward.

"Tonight it's fresh fish with carrots and potatoes." Her smile brightened when this shut Jayne up. "Let me show you to his room, you boys change and I'll start the oven." And with a push she led the two men down the hall.

……….

The room was considerably smaller than Wash had imagined. It was basically half the size of the cockpit, with a bed and dresser thrown in. Anne's insistence that they both go in together to change didn't make the situation any less awkward. Neither did her bubbly statement of "I won't judge," as she closed the door.

Jayne was already squatted over the bottom drawers of the dresser, digging around. Wash picked up a pair of slacks Jayne had discarded and held them up. Anne's boy was much bigger than the both of them from what he saw, and these slacks only reaffirmed that fact.

Jayne found a pair that he looked pleased with and stood. He fumbled with his belt buckle, still slick from the ocean water, before pulling off his belt and dropping trow right there in front of Wash. Nothing underneath.

Wash stood there, holding the slacks to his chest, unsure of what to do. Jayne didn't appear to give the man any mind as he sat on the bed to pull the pants on. Wash did his best to not look directly at him, so as not to get caught. But, well, they were facing each other and it was fairly unavoidable.

Unhappy with the way the pants fit him Jayne took them off and squatted in front of the dresser again, sorting through the mess again. Wash struggled to catch his balance from his weakening knees on the rocking ship. Jayne's shirt clung to him, still wet from their ride, his lower parts were fully exposed. Wash felt himself start to blush.

Jayne glanced up at him. "You gonna change, or you gonna stand there all day like a prima-donna?" He went back to his rummaging. Wash swallowed but didn't respond.

He put the pants down on top of the dresser and walked over to the small closet as he unbuttoned his shirt. Inside he found a wide assortment of white shirts, just like he saw Anne's boy wear down at Serenity. Boy lacked creativity it seemed.

Jayne, spotting the new array of clothes to choose from, stood and crowded into the small area. Wash swallowed as he noticed Jayne take off his own wet shirt out of the corner of his eye. This meant that the man was now stark ass naked behind him, seemingly unfazed by the other mans proximity to him.

Wash finally took off his own shirt, getting a small thrill out of the idea of being so near a naked Jayne, and then immediately feeling like a pervert for it. He quickly went to grab a shirt from off a hanger when the ship dipped sending the unbalanced Wash crashing to his knees. Jayne seemed to be caught off guard as well and stepped forward to catch his balance, pressing himself into Wash's back. Wash blushed.

"Sorry 'bout that, little man." Jayne laughed as he stepped back and helped Wash to his feet. Wash didn't bother looking back, feeling his face burning. He quickly put on an over-sized white shirt and turned, back to Jayne, and changed into the slacks he left sitting on the dresser using his belt to hold them up.

By the time he was finished Jayne was pulling on his own pants; looking ridiculous in the outfit he wore, looking dwarfed. Wash could only imagine how he looked, being all around smaller than him. Without a word he opened the door and they both followed the scent of cooking food.

……….

"So the way I hears it we should be finishing our transaction by noon tomorrow," Anne said with a big smile as she moved the men's damp— though now clean— clothes to hang over the stove to dry over night. "And, don't tell your boss this, but I'm gonna throw in some fresh fish by way of apology for this little inconvenience." She grinned, proud of herself.

Jayne sat on the couch with his eyes closed. Both of them were tired from their day on the high seas, and from the food they just ate. Heavy less-processed foods like that hit you harder if you've been eating nothing but protein stew with protein curry and protein shakes for days on end. It was always good for a nice nap afterwards.

The rum helped.

Anne yawned audibly as she stretched out on her rocking chair, which seemed counter-intuitive to life on a moving ship. "So, tell me a bit about yourselves. " She said, not talking to either specifically.

"Well," Wash said after a sip of rum. "I'm a pilot, and he likes to shoot people." Jayne raised a hand and pulled the trigger on an invisible gun. "We're a simple people."

Anne laughed. "And I'd figure it safe to say that's the extent of your lives right there, huh?"

"Pretty much sums me up," Jayne said as he lifted his head up to take another long swig off his rum.

Wash mimicked his move and cringed a bit from the burn of the drink. "Just a bit tired is all. Not too up for thinking back, no offense." He was usually the talkative type, but the food had numbed him some and his thought process was going a bit too sluggish for him to carry conversation like that.

"None taken," Anne said with a smile. Her smile quickly tightened into a smirk, obviously finding a subject to talk about she liked. "I hope you don't my asking, but what he said earlier," she motioned to Jayne but kept her eye on Wash. "Is it true?"

Wash looked at her, confused.

She leaned in closer. "Are you sly?" She drawled out the last part, making Wash feel a bit uncomfortable. In fact, he felt very uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, but why?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just old girls like me love our gossip. Not that this is gossip; I just like learning things about people. I'm a people person, after all." She gulped her rum before pouring herself another glass. Then she mumbled, "And just seeing what kind of prospects my own boy has."

Wash felt himself get hot in the face. Was she trying to set him up. Well, that was a given. But with her son? "I, er..." He sipped the rum again, holding the mug like a tiny little useless shield. Jayne chuckled, relishing in the other mans suffering. "Sorry, but, eh... I'm not entirely interested in your son."

She set the mug down and waved her hand. "Oh, wasn't saying anything by it. Don't know what that boy is anyway, sometimes. Never hear him talk about boy or girls."

"Oh." Dodged that bullet.

She leaned back again, hands on her lap. "Still never did answer my question."

"Question?" Delay tactic.

"Are you sly?" Woman was focused and direct, like a missel. Jayne chuckled again appreciatively.

Wash gulped. He'd never really talked about his personal life with people like that, even the people he'd been flying on a ship with for years. "Well, not exactly." He swallowed, feeling tension growing. "I'm what they call bi, I guess."

Anne nodded, a firm smile on her face. Like she knew all along. "Well, when's the last time you got any?"

Wash coughed. That was probably a bad time to drink something that burned more coming back up than it does going down. "Excuse me?" He sputtered.

"Sorry, was that too personal?" No, asking in the first place was too personal, lady. This was just weird.

He shook his head but didn't respond. She seemed to catch the gist of it and turned her attention to Jayne, his head still laying back but his eyes open.

"What about you? Are you sly?" She drawled again. Woman had issues with peoples privacy.

Jayne tilted his head up, eyebrows furrowed. "Lady, what's my business is mine." Damnit, why hadn't Wash thought of that line.

She raised her hands in defense. "I'm just curious. Not like I can tell anyone that'll ever meet you anyhow."

Jayne drank from his cup. "I'll tell you this much. The town Shepherd was a close friend of my family, and he taught me what's what. I may not believe in all of it, but I do have certain feelings on things."

There was a long silence. Wash felt something in side of him curdle. He wasn't sure how things for he and Jayne would go from here on out, but it was definitely going to be different.

He looked up at Anne, a weak smile on his face. "I'm a bit tired…"

Anne nodded her head and stood up, slapping them both on their knees. "You'll be staying in my boys room. Hope you don't mind. Not sure how you two wanna situate your sleeping arrangement, so I just tossed some of the fresher blankets and pillows onto the bed." She had a big smile on her face.

Both Wash and Jayne downed their last gulp of rum before standing to follow her back down the hall.

……….

It really wasn't fair. In all honesty that bed was plenty big enough for both of them. Actually, Jayne didn't seem to mind sharing it, seeing as how when he got on it he scootched over closer to the wall. Wash was the one who decided to sleep on the floor considering what Jayne had just said. He just wasn't sure about Jayne right now.

Still, it wasn't fair.

He lay there with his eyes open, staring up into the darkness. It was surprisingly quiet once you got past the creaking of the ship as she swayed on the water. It was soothing how she almost systematically rolled with the waves, rocking to and fro. If Wash hadn't been feeling on edge from the things that happened that day with Jayne, sleep might not have been so fleeting.

The bed shifted and creaked, and Jayne's voice hoarsely whispered. "Ah, damnit, Wash." Jayne peaked his head over the side and looked down at the other man in the dark. "You've got me feeling bad about you sleeping down there."

If ever there was a confusing and conflicting message from Jayne, this was it.

"I'm sorry?" Wash responded, trying to see the mans face in the dark.

"Get up here." The bed squeaked again as Jayne rolled out of the way. Wash didn't dare move for fear he had momentarily gone insane. "Come on," Jayne called again, sounding somewhat annoyed.

Wash hesitated again before getting up to sit on the bed. He didn't dare lie down though, still not sure what was going on.

"I ain't gonna bite," Said the bigger man, his bare back to Wash as he lay close to the wall. Wash still refused to move, choosing to remain silent. After a moment Jayne sighed, his back heaving. "I'm sorry I kissed ya."

Wash blinked and shook his head, making sure he didn't have anything rattling up there.

"It weren't right of me," Jayne went on. "Was less right of me to not apologize sooner."

Wash was at a loss for words. The one thing he could think to say was, "Why are you apologizing?"

Jayne turned, his bare chest twisting as he did. "Well, I dunno. Just… didn't want to lead you on or nothin'." He looked at Wash, who looked back at him, still not saying a word. Jayne, feeling awkward, went on. "I don't know why I did it, okay? I just… You did something nice for me and I just figured it was the thing to do."

"Kissing me."

Jayne shrugged. "Yeah."

Wash put his hands on his knees, turning his body away. This whole thing still felt wrong. He felt like he was sixteen again; frustrated and confused. The bed dipped and Jayne moved to sit next to him.

"I'm sorry."

Wash weakly shrugged his shoulders. "It happened. Won't happen again."

There was silence again, neither looking at each other. Wash felt his stomach knot up as he realized his earlier assessment that their friendship, whatever they had before, was seriously not going to be the same. It just didn't seem right. Didn't seem fair.

He felt a tingle as Jayne's hand found its way up his back. Wash looked at the other man and caught him glancing at his face before turning his eyes down.

"Jayne...?"

"I'm sorry."

This time the kiss was heavier, hungrier. Jayne sucked on his lip, his short goatee scraping on Wash's face. Wash put his hands on Jayne's sides as he found the pace of the kiss. He was the one to introduce tongues, licking the roof of Jayne's mouth, making him purr from the sensation.

Their breath was hot on each other's faces, the rum still lingering on every exhale. Their hands leaving warmth as they felt each other, massaged each other.

Wash found himself turning and straddling Jayne. Jayne leaned backward slowly and brought the whole thing to a horizontal level. Their chests and torso's were now rubbing each other, the hair creating waves of sensations. Wash kept himself propped up just enough so their lower halves weren't touching. He wasn't sure if that's where he wanted this to go yet.

And yet Jayne didn't take the hint as his hands lingered down along his back finding their way under the top of his pants and onto his rear. He squeezed and tried to bring him down, and when that failed went to bring his hands around to the front.

"Stop," Wash gasped as he pulled away from the kiss. He couldn't see Jayne very well, but could tell that a look of confusion was etched on his face.

"What?" Jayne asked, panting to control his breath. "What's wrong?"

"I just… This isn't right. I'm sorry," Wash said as he started to prop himself up. Jayne held him tight.

"No, it's alright."

"We're drunk."

"Only a little." Jayne laughed.

Wash sighed. "I can't like this."

Jayne was silent for a moment. "You mean you can't as in you get whiskey di--?"

"No!" Wash said, more than aware of the tightness in his pants. "I just mean the whole situation is very not right."

Jayne sighed. "Alright. If you insist." He sat up, still holding firm to Wash. "But you don't sleep on the floor, alright? I did this, I'll sleep down there." He rolled Wash off his lap and scooted himself to the floor.

Wash sighed. "Jayne." There was a pause before he made a noise. "Sleep up here."

"I said--"

"With me." Then, realizing the implications of that statement quickly followed, "In bed. Sleep sleep. It's getting colder anyway."

There was a brief pause before the bed dipped and Jayne once again sat beside Wash. Without another word Wash moved toward the wall and lay with his back to Jayne. After a moment he felt an arm wrap around him as Jayne moved in beside him.

They both soon found themselves falling into comfortable sleep.

This changed things.

……….

It was another bright day when Serenity was lifting off into the sky. Mal had been released with a slap on the wrist— thankfully the local law hadn't thought to do a thorough sweep of the ship or all the crews records— and Anne was true to her word and paid them all in full, along with an extra supply of fresh fish and home-brewed rum.

"I swear," Mal laughed as the crew sat down to supper. "The guy was like three feet shorter than me, but he thought he could take me! Turns out he was brought in because of, get this… indecent exposure!"

Everybody laughed. There was some banging of fists on the table as the room filled with joy.

As the laughter subsided Kaylee turned to Wash and Jayne, a smile on her face.

"So, anything exciting happen to you two on your big night out?"

Wash glanced at Jayne, then turned back to the rest. He wasn't sure what to tell first; the boat ride there, or the part where they had to change into the oversized clothes. He sure as hell wasn't about to talk about what happened between Jayne and he, still not sure what was going on himself. "Well--"

"Nothing," Jayne interrupted. "Just a crazy old lady, on a crazy old boat." Jayne had a stoney look on his face as he speared the fish.

Wash was stunned. Everybody looked at him expectantly, but Wash wasn't sure what to do. So he shrugged. "Yeah. Just a crazy lady on a crazy boat." He took a sip of the rum.

Mal, sensing the tension in the air, took the time to continue on with his adventure in the jail cell while the rest of the crew laughed. Wash didn't listen too intently, his mind still trying to figure out what just happened. He looked up at Jayne, but the other man kept his eyes elsewhere.

Things had definitely changed.


End file.
